Shhhh! I'm a Ladyboy Lover...

Hi,

I'm a guy who likes ladyboys, but I'm always a little more cautious about talking about my actual dates with ladyboys than I am with my dates with women. Maybe you're the same.

So in this article I'll run through some of the privacy/secrecy issues I've encountered while dating ladyboys, and why guys like to keep their fascination for the third gender TOP SECRET.

Geekyguy about to board the fun bus to ladyboy filled Pattaya.
What went on in Thailand has to stay in Thailand -
as far as future employers, girlfriends, etc. etc. are concerned...

First of all I'll say that many men DO like ladyboys. This fact cannot be disputed. I lived in Bangkok for over six months and I spent many, many evenings people watching. One of the many things I learned from living there is that ladyboys are VERY popular. This fact is also borne out by the popularity of ladyboy porn sites, ladyboy cabaret shows, and the popularity of the Sky TV series Ladyboys that was shown in the UK (and repeated many times!).

Reputation Management

Reputation management is important these days. It's so easy to make one bad tweet, one bad Facebook post, and you can end up with egg on your face, or even a jail sentence!

So it's becoming increasingly important to be a little careful about what you do online.

The best thing to do before posting anything online is to ask:

• Would I feel comfortable showing my mom what I'm posting?

If you're not, then don't post it, or use a pseudonym.

Now I'm not particularly bothered about what people think about me. Hell, I spent more than six months living in Bangkok, so most people think I'm a sex tourist anyway. My family are OK with me befriending ladyboys. In fact thanks to that popular Sky TV series called Ladyboys, my mom kind of likes transgenders anyway!

But on the other hand I have to bear in mind that I'm applying for jobs right now, and if you're a job applicant these days, it's very likely that prospective employers will Google your name. It's happened to me twice in the last month that I've been asked in a job interview about stuff that people interviewing me have seen from searching the web.

Of course it's also possible that future girlfriends might Google my name as well. My experience has told me that the majority of women DO NOT want to marry a guy who has any interest whatsoever in ladyboys.

So unless you don't care at all what other people think about you, it's a good idea to be a little discreet when using online dating sites. In fact quite a few people think that online dating itself is weird. And that's before we get involved with Asian dating, and (shudder) Asian ladyboy dating.

Here are a few tips of dealing with reputation management:

1. First of all, don't let worlds collide. Keep your work colleagues off your Facebook, and keep your friends off your LinkedIn profile (if you have one).
2. Reputation management is easier if you have a name like Paul Smith or John Jones! Then you can hope for some security by obscurity. Sadly I have a near-unique name and I've only come across two other people in the entire world with my own particular first name/surname combination. So you'll forgive me for writing under a pseudonym.
3. Photographic facial recognition is getting good these days, and already Google has a service that can recognise celebrity photos, and Facebook can often identify which of your friends are in your photos. So be careful where you upload your photo to these days. In particular, choose a dating site that only allows logged in members to view photos. Asian Love Connections is a ladyboy dating site I helped to build. As one of the specifications I made sure that profiles of guys seeking ladyboys aren't visible to search engines or anyone who hasn't logged into the site.
4. Be careful when using Google+ or any Google services. Google has a poor approach to privacy, so whenever I search on Google I use the Private browsing Window in Firefox. I also use BoxPN's excellent and very cheap VPN service as much as I can.
5. Bear in mind that many people are very hostile towards guys who show interest in ladyboys (as well as being hostile towards ladyboys themselves). If you get problems from friends, then find new friends.

Finally as you get older, you tend to give less of a fuck what other people think about you. So don't worry.

Secrecy on Dating Sites

I help run a ladyboy dating site over at Asian Love Connections. I've noticed that around 20% of men who join upload photos of celebs, or photos with their own faces hidden, and, on occasion, photos of their cocks. In other words the guys like to hide their own identity.

On my own site I don't hesitate to ban any member who uploads a photo of a celebrity - quite apart from the copyright issues, it's just plain dishonest and not fair on the ladyboy members of the site.

I'm more lenient on people who don't upload face shots. But since the site I help run is a mainstream dating site, I ban any members uploading photos of their members (so to speak).

My own opinion is that if you're going to have a relationship with a ladyboy then you're gonna have to be just a little bit more honest with yourself, and not hide behind fake photos and blurry head shots. Ladyboys meet a whole load of jerks in their quest for long lasting love, and you can easily stand out by appearing honest and a man of integrity.

Who Cares About You?

I'm a huge worryer and I also have bouts of extreme paranoia.

So if you're the same as me, I'll point out one important thing: people generally have very little interest in you.

So don't worry about what people think about your interest in ladyboys. Chances are they're not actually thinking of you at all.

You can see this by how quickly celebs "in the news" fall out of the news and are quickly forgotten, until they're re-discovered years later working in a convenience store.

If your work colleagues do somehow find out you're a ladyboy lover then you might get one or two days of grief, but then they'll move onto ribbing somebody else about another matter. And rest assured the guys doing most of the ribbing are highly likely to go home after work and spend a good few hours downloading ladyboy porn.

You can worry even less if you're living in or visiting a "ladyboy friendly" place like Thailand or the Philippines. In Bangkok I dated a ladyboy half my age, yet in the shopping mall where we met we were practically invisible. The only time I really got noticed in Bangkok was when I dated an incredibly hot woman who was a 9 or a 10. Wow, then I did attract a fair bit of attention, but mainly from other women!

The Take Home Message

If you're interested in ladyboys then my advice is to not be in denial about your interest in them.

On the other hand, bear in mind that there is a lot of hostility out there. Not to mention that in some countries it's even illegal to have a relationship with a ladyboy.

So it's perfectly acceptable to be discreet, but just be honest with yourself.

Are you worried about somebody you know finding out about your interest in ladyboys? Leave your comments below (anonymously if you prefer)...

Geek Goes Straight Again?

For the past couple of months I've been dating Thai ladies rather than ladyboys.

Am I through with ladyboys?

Absolutely not!

The issue is that I've found it very hard to find ladyboys I want to date.

Before I'll meet a ladyboy and go on a date with her, she must:

• Look feminine.
• Be pre-op and have breasts.
• Not be too much taller than me, taking into account that I love a girl in heels.
• Not work in a bar or be any kind of hooker.
• Not work excessive hours in her job.
• Actually live somewhere I can go and meet her.

That's quite a demanding list, and if you're similarly demanding, you'll find it much easier just to meet Thai ladies.

While there are many feminine looking ladyboys in Bangkok, there's no getting away from the fact that rather more are just a man in a dress.

Some of the most convincing ladyboys in Thailand are the post-op ones. But I dunno, if you want a ladyboy who's ladylike enough to the point of having a pussy, wouldn't it just be better to date an actual lady?

The height issue has also ruled out many potential ladyboy dates for me. As a guy who's just 5' 6", I find that Bangkok's ladyboys are usually 5' 7" or taller. Factor in the obligatory pair of fabulous heels, and many of them tower over me.

This isn't just a ladyboy thing. I might have once dated a woman who was older than me, but I've NEVER dated a woman who was taller than me. It just wouldn't feel right.

And on the whole job thing, I make it clear that I'll only date ladyboys who have legitimate jobs. There are many ladyboys who work in shops and offices throughout Thailand. If you want to find some real life ladyboys then a good place to go to in Bangkok is MBK. Head for the floor where there are all the little cubicles to buy mobile phones and accessories - it's awash with ladyboy customer service assistants...

Many of MBK's ladyboys are single and are only too happy to chat to you!

By all means date a bar ladyboy or ladyboy freelancer. But be prepared for a life of chaos and probable disappointment.

If you're interested in ladyboys, would you also date Asian ladies? Leave your comments below (anonymously if you wish).

Which Ladyboy Dating Sites Are The Best?

Which ladyboy dating sites are best? In this post I'll run through the different sites I used to actually meet my ladyboy dates when I was living in Thailand...

Ladyboy Kisses is probably the longest running ladyboy dating site there is. It was established years ago, and unfortunately looks ancient as well.

Still, if you judge a dating site by the number of members then Ladyboy Kisses reigns supreme. There are reckoned to be over 10,000 ladyboy profiles on the site, so there's a huge choice of members to meet.

As my geeky chart shows, it's also a great site if you're particularly interested in younger ladyboys:


Ladyboy Kisses - ladyboy members by age

There are plenty of ladyboys from Thailand on the site, and also some from other countries (particularly Malaysia and Indonesia). But Filipino ladyboys are by far the most numerous.

MyLadyboyDate is run by a friend of mine, so I know this site is legit.

I used the site in its first year of operation. So the site was still filling up with ladyboy profiles.

I chatted with quite a few Bangkok ladyboys through this site. I was impressed that I got something like a 75% response rate to my interests on this site. If only other dating sites offered those sort of statistics!

Sure, about half the ladyboys I chatted to on the site were hookers, but hey, that's Bangkok for you! But to be fair I'd guess that 80% of guys chatting to ladyboys just want sex, and not a long term relationship.

Anyway, it's a pretty decent ladyboy dating site, and if more ladyboys join then it could easily topple Ladyboy Kisses from the #1 spot.

Asian Love Connections is a small Asian dating site and at the time of writing it offered free ladyboy dating. There are also Asian women on the site if you're interested in them as well.

Thai Love Links was the main dating site I used while I was living in Thailand. The site has hundreds of thousands of members, and it's not too hard to find a date.

There are quite a few ladyboys on this site. But the irritation is that you don't know whether to find them while browsing the male or the female profiles. What's worse is that to see the ladyboys who have registered as male, you need to browse through the profiles of guys. Which is kind of not the thing you want to do if you're edgy about the whole if I like ladyboys, am I gay thing.

And you'll also get messages and interests from macho looking guys - yeuch!

Still, if you're interested in chatting to both Thai ladyboys and girls, then this site will keep you busy for a while. I must have got about 30 dates from this site, so it was absolutely worth the monthly subscription fee.

Incidentally, if you're more interested in Philippines dating then Thai Love Links has a sister site called Filipino Cupid. This site has a whole load of ladyboys on it

DateInAsia is the largest FREE Asian dating site out there. There are some ladyboys on there, but they can be a little hard to find. Again, they're hidden amongst both the male and female members on the site.

DateInAsia is quite hostile towards ladyboys which is nonsense given that ladyboys are such a significant part of daily life in countries like Thailand and the Philippines. I've also never, ever dated anyone through the site. Most of the female/ladyboy members are sadly either scammers or hookers. Avoid.

I haven't made much mention of the various sex dating websites out there. There are quite a few of these, with names such as FindAShemaleLover.

While I was in Thailand there was no need to use these sites. If you just want to fuck a ladyboy then you'll find plenty of them in real life, so there's no point in paying a dating site subscription. Instead just take a taxi or a tuk-tuk to Nana Plaza or Soi Cowboy in Bangkok, or to Walking Street in Pattaya.

I also find these sex dating sites to be a bit intimidating. And I wonder how many of them are filled with scammers and fake profiles?

Rest assured that the mainstream ladyboy dating sites mentioned in this article are 100% legit and have plenty of real ladyboys on them. They also have flat rate membership fees (or are free) so you won't get stung with paying for expensive video chats or other services.

So, if you want the best possible choice of ladyboy to chat to, then Ladyboy Kisses is the site to use. However, keep an eye on MyLadyboyDate, which is fast making inroads into the ladyboy dating scene.

If you're not sure about the whole ladyboy thing, then check out Asian Love Connections. At the time of writing it still offered FREE LADYBOY DATING so you can easily sign up and just see for yourself whether you really do want to get into the whole ladyboy relationship thing.

Happy dating!

If you've got any suggestions of other ladyboy sites, or you have any opinions about the sites mentioned, then please leave comments below.

Dating or Sex? Which Path is Best?

Why do YOU want to meet a ladyboy?

It's essential that you're honest with yourself when you answer this.

Ladyboys are smart enough to know that 90% of guys visiting the Philippines or Thailand to meet ladyboys are just going for the sex. A long term relationship with a ladyboy is the last thing on their minds.

So ladyboy dating and sex really don't mix. If you're visiting the Philippines or Thailand for a vacation and just want to "test drive" a ladyboy, then just find an escort.

My reasons are:

1. Escorts are professionals and will make sure your first time with a ladyboy is a good one. Don't worry if you're shy - ladyboys know that every customer is a first time customer. Few men will actually admit to having a thing for ladyboys!

I've heard that ladyboy escorts usually give you excellent service, and seem less temperamental than biological ladies.

2. Dating is hard work. It takes time to chat to potential dates, then set dates up. Life is hard in Thailand, especially for ladyboys who face a lot of discrimination from potential employers. And it's not uncommon for ladyboys with jobs in shopping malls or offices to work 6 days a week. So by the time you've arranged to meet, you might be on the plane home!

Plus ladyboys have occasional disasters like food poisoning. You could spend months chatting to a cute ladyboy online, and when you finally get to Pattaya she could flake on you. Darn that street food!!!



Thai Ladyboys and ladies really love that Bangkok street food...

3. It's cheaper!

I spent 6 months living in Bangkok. If you add up the costs of dates and compared it with the costs of hiring a ladyboy hooker...

There's no contest. It's MUCH CHEAPER to just hire a hooker than to get a non-hooker into bed. Hmmm, the sex would no doubt be much better with the hooker as well.

If you want to make contact with ladyboys before you travel to Asia, then check out these dating sites:

• Asian Love Connections
• MyLadyboyDate
• Ladyboy Kisses

Incidentally you'll find a mixture of hookers and non-hookers on these sites. The ladyboys will normally be pretty up-front about which type of ladyboy they are. In most cases it's pretty easy to tell from the types of photos they upload to their profiles.

My Third Date With a Ladyboy

After a bit of a hiatus it was time for third date with my ladyboy.

I really hate losing momentum in a relationship, but I've generally found dating to be an immensely slow process in Thailand.

Still, at least I have things better than my friend. He told me the Thai girl he likes works 14 hours a day in a restaurant, so his options for taking her out on dates are limited in the extreme.

Chinese ladies worked pretty long hours, and that was a bit of a problem when I was dating in China. But most ladies I met only worked M-F, so weekends were good for dating. Here in Thailand it's relatively common for people to work 6 or even 7 days a week. And there also seem to be far fewer public holidays than there were in China.

But I digress...

How did 3rd date go?

For the third date we ate at Pizza Hut. This was the first time I'd been to Pizza Hut in Thailand, although I went there 100's of times in China!

Thailand's Pizza Huts serve food with a Thai flair - think Pizzas with seafood stick toppings.

Well we ended up with all kinds of food I wasn't sure I ordered - a common occurrence when your date doesn't speak English.

Then she had to go home again - she is young and her parents are quite strict. But I'm hopeful of 4th date.

I've broken so many rules with this ladyboy, quite apart from the fact that she's a ladyboy. But in general I'd recommend that you only date Asian ladies/ladyboys who speak a fair amount of English. And it's much easier to date somebody who's had a sexual relationship before. Then you can escalate a lot more quickly, certainly by the 3rd date.

Still, I'm planning on staying in Thailand for the long term, so I can afford to take things slowly.

Incidentally, like on the first date, farang with young ladyboy was not at all interesting to the general population. I don't recall seeing any strange looks at all. So don't worry if you have misgivings about being seen in public with a ladyboy. Here in Thailand it's nothing unusual at all. Actually the most unusual thing of all here is seeing a white Western guy with a white Western wife!

Oh, and I almost forgot. My ladyboy looked very hot today! Thai University students have to wear uniforms. They come in two types - demure and slutty. Today I got the slutty look! This is what I'm talking about:

 

The Whole Age and Age Difference Thing

My first ever date with a ladyboy was with a cutie who was half my age.

Am I stupid for dating a ladyboy half my age? Of course! But I'm old enough to know better.

So what age of ladyboy is it worth dating?

If you want a lasting relationship, then I'll recommend you be wary of ladyboys who are younger than 24. At that age they're still coming to terms with their sexuality, and can sometimes have big psychological issues.

Ladyboys are very popular when they're young, but once they get to 26-27 their popularity wanes, and they start to look for a more long term relationship. This is the age to seek out when you're after a ladyboy girlfriend.

I will also encourage you to seek out the older ladyboys. I've seen some fabulous ladyboys who are in their early to mid 30's. Biological men generally have firmer skin than women so ladyboys can go on looking hot for years. Thai people generally age more slowly than Western people. That much was apparent when I dated a 35yo Thai-Chinese woman who looked 24!

One good thing is that it's pretty easy to find a younger ladyboy girlfriend. I did some geeky Excel work on the ages of the ladyboy members of the popular Ladyboy Kisses dating site:

As you can see, most of the ladyboy members of the site are in their 20's, with smaller numbers in their 30's There are very few older ladyboys on the site - way fewer than there would be Asian ladies on sites like Asian Love Connections or Filipino Cupid.

I didn't do the same chart for the male members of the site. But in Bangkok I've seen guys of all ages with ladyboys at their side. If anything though, ladyboys are even more popular with younger guys.

I'm 40 and my first ladyboy date was 20. Is that an excessive age difference, or would you contemplate an even larger age difference?

Second Date With a Ladyboy

I'm pretty ruthless when it comes to dating. If I don't like my date, then I'll cut off all contact after the first date. Clingy girls (and ladyboys for that matter) are to be avoided at all costs.

But the first ladyboy I'd ever dated was hot, and I was very eager to meet her again!

So for the second date we met at the same shopping mall, and "did" lunch.

Again, nobody cared less about a foreigner being seen around town with a young ladyboy by his side.

This however wasn't my experience when I subsequently dated an Asian woman who was clearly a "9" and pretty damned close to a "10". I learnt from dating her that average man walking around with a woman who is hot enough to be a model is VERY interesting. Especially with other females, who I guess must wonder what sort of magnetism, charm or money (most likely money) I possess in order to attract a female of that quality.

Anyway, back to ladyboy date #2...

After lunch we went for a walk around one of Bangkok's parks. We sat for a while, and I felt a rush of those relaxing hormones that you get when you're in the company of someone you really like being with.

It was nice to sit and just watch the world go by. Especially as my date didn't speak much English. Strangely she didn't speak much Thailish either. But I took this as a good sign, since Bangkok ladies (and ladyboys) often learn Thailish from hanging around in beer bars...

So that was a very nice afternoon spent in the company of an exotic and interesting ladyboy. Roll on date #3...